How is it that there’s still something left inside you?
Dear friend
Dear you
Dear me, he, she, her, they
Stop.
Breathe.
Everyone will try to box you in according to their limited knowledge of normalcy while the truth is, it doesn’t even exist.
I’ve forgotten what being normal actually feels like.
It’s okay to be sad at times.
It’s okay to have mood swings.
It’s okay to be empty at times.
Stop.
Just stop.
Stop lying to me.
It’s okay for you because you don’t understand the intensity, because you wouldn’t think about it. when you go back to your place, your sleep wouldn’t be disrupted because of it.
So stop reassuring me and my pain by saying it’s okay when it clearly isn’t.
It never was.
I’ve learned to hide underneath this mask.
I’ve learned to smile in front of people like you who at first want to know what you’re going through to look like someone who cares, then straight away jump to the conclusion that it’s okay.
Dude, how is it okay when I see my time fading away.
When this hatred for self grows exponentially every single day.
When I see my face in the mirror and see an empty face, a broken soul.
Don’t tell me broken is beautiful.
Broken is as dangerous as a sharp knife, as painful as a needle.
The more we romanticise the idea of brokenness, the harder it gets to make people understand the gravity of the situation.
The point here is not that we hide it, the point is why we do it.
The reason is people want to fix it,
solve it like an algebraic equation.
I don’t want to be at the receiving end all the time.
I’m tired.
So I shut myself up.
But this time
with a LESSON.
