I wrote this poem as I was battling depression, and my medications were the only thing keeping me awake and alive. It can be described as a delusional account of the addiction I had developed to my anti-depressants and sleeping pills.
Sick of this world already
I need my daily wakeup ingredients!
And so, a cup of coffee, 3 white pills, and a glass of water later
I feel like a different person.
Definitely awake.
I’m alive! What fun!
Let’s dance! Who cares what time it is?
C’mon Mom? Dad?
Ah, you’re busy.
That’s okay. I can dance by myself.
This song is amazing.
Casting to TV.
What was I so upset about a few minutes ago?
Eh, who cares, everything feels good now.
I just have to focus on not losing this feeling.
Focus! And dance! But mostly, FOCUS!
Gosh, I’m tired.
Slowly morning turns to afternoon
And just to do something,
I turn into a sleepy sloth.
I wake up again at 6 pm
To the sounds of my mom’s insults
Ugh, still a few hours to go
I need to do something to pass the time
Anything, really.
Another cup of coffee.
Watching The Office again and again.
It’s okay, just enough to get me to 10 pm.
Time’s up.
My glass of water is right there
Calling to me.
Neon colored pills have never looked this beautiful.
And the fun slowly starts again!
Except this time, it’s more slower
Time feels infinite, I feel surreal
The world has never looked so bright
While I’m just standing in the kitchen with the lights off.
Weird.
It feels like I’m floating.
And I keep losing my balance
But I don’t care now.
I can finally sleep again
I don’t have to think about you all night long.
You can’t keep me up with your thoughts anymore.
I’ve won!
