AVANI TAMBE • FEMALE • 20 • MUMBAI
In half an hour, I lost all my confidence, friends, thoughts, and the love of my life—or at least I thought he was. At the age of 15, I was alone. It was an age when all of us craved friends, conversation, and gossip. During that period, I found myself sitting at home alone for hours. With each passing day, those hours felt longer and longer. You know that feeling of being underwater and unable to shout? It’s even more difficult when you’re drowning.
Aai (mother) could see me drowning. She didn’t know how to swim, but she jumped into the dark ocean for her daughter. To this day, I can’t do anything that would adequately thank her. She learned everything—our culture, the basics that we kids thought were cool but were against her own culture.
Slowly, I realized I was sinking into depression. I couldn’t say it out loud, but I could see it in myself. I saw the physical me becoming muted.
As usual, MOTHER INDIA came to the rescue. She took me to meet a friend—not a person, but my depression itself. She told me, “Confront him, ask him why he’s doing this. Why is he troubling you?” I hiked up my rage, started crying, and fumbled to ask my depression why it did this. Eventually, I thought, “Let’s do one thing—let’s ask someone to be a mediator between us.”
Wiping away the tears, I went to a therapist, and let me tell you, she helped him to start talking to me. Eventually, he told me why he had been troubling me, just like a friend is supposed to do. He was preparing me for life, for future pain, to become a strong woman, a force against those who do wrong.
We became such good friends, and I forgot everything—how it hurt when my love left me, how I was bullied in front of 100 kids, and how I became the girl who never came to school. My friend got me hurt, picked me up, dusted off the dirt, and helped me cross to a better side—a side with better people, and better understanding.
I will be forever grateful to the most important woman, my Aai.
P.S. To all of you out there struggling through the small things and caring too much, remember, “We give a damn because we care; we aren’t heartless.”
