I was 18 when I struggled with depression and anxiety. Depression scattered me until I experienced panic attacks which turned my world upside down. Everyday was difficult with endless suffering and sleepless nights. One such night I was scared to death. My heart’s racing, I was numb and couldn’t feel or know anything; I was breathless, felt immense pressure inside as if it would burst out and I would die the very moment. That was a panic attack. They became my worst fear. During one such attack, I ended up cutting my wrist which to my horror felt relieving as if the pressure and suffering was flowing out with my blood.
I was so afraid that often I took a number of unknown pills just to escape suffering with zero hope of waking up the next morning. I never did this to die but pain became my getaway from suffering. Days passed and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I decided to talk to my aunt about what I was going through. I was taken to a psychiatrist who gave me anti-depressants and a few sleeping pills. I started skype sessions with a Florida-based therapist. Apart from this, the support and love of my aunt and my family gave me hope of a better tomorrow. I suffered for nearly a year.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! It did! I am stronger and more grateful to life now. I know the worth of my happiness.
To people who are suffering, it’s you who can get you out of your suffering. Believe in a happier tomorrow. Suicide is never a solution. I was lucky enough to live, don’t make the mistakes I made. You deserve to be happy just like everyone else. Don’t let your life and dreams fall apart.
If anyone around you is suffering, make an effort to make them feel comfortable, talk to them and let them know they aren’t alone.
It is nobody’s fault and it is ok to talk.
