You’ve held me by the jaw
And distorted my face
I can no longer recognize myself
I don’t even feel it anymore
It’s all numb
My hands are trembling
From memories of all previous encounters
And I know what this means
I’m nervously shaking my leg
As I fear to see you in the eye
But I know why you’re back
To protect me
Known dangers are better than unknown ones, they say
So here you are
My familiar space
To safeguard me
Caution me, keep me alert
But you don’t realize
That you hurt me too
I’ll befriend you however
For in this moment
You are here to get me across
To the other side
Away from this monstrous situation
The bully who exploits and harasses me
The one whose work I do
Thanklessly
‘Cos I’m the junior
The one who belittles
Disregards, Disrespects
You are here, my anxiety
And
I will hold on to you
This poem was written while contemplating how to take a stand against harassment at workplace from a senior and stand up for myself. As I battled my thoughts about ambition, social fears and self-respect, I decided to listen to my own voice. Workplace harassment, particularly in academia is extremely high. And in the absence of social support, it can lead to mental health concerns like anxiety. Your mental health is not your enemy. Sometimes it’s best to accept it as an ally and work with and through it instead of banishing it.
