PRADYUT HANDE • MALE • 32 • MUMBAI
The taboo surrounding the open discussion of collective mental health issues has been destigmatized to a large extent over the last few years. However, the latent inertia and deep-seated fears, fueled by years of insecurity, in actually seeking help from mental health professionals for personal gain, is still part of this larger malaise. Self-awareness breeds acceptance of a problem. But, the quest to address deep-rooted mental health issues to achieve a basic level of functioning and then eventually take strides towards sustainable wellness must come courtesy of an internal clarion call. It must stem from a desire to feel and be better—for oneself and for those around one.
That’s precisely why I decided to invest my time, effort, and energy in therapy after struggling with germophobia-induced anxiety—a crippling issue that hit a fever pitch during and post the Pandemic. This major psychosomatic impediment negatively impacted my day-to-day functioning, movement beyond my physical residence, professional equations, personal and social relationships, pursuit of hobbies and interests, self-confidence, and more. I could feel my personality change; I lived in fear, went through sachets of sanitizers, bottles of handwash, packs of surgical face masks, and dozens of disposable gloves while attempting to avoid physical contact with people, intra and inter-city travel, and handling packages from outside.
For the longest time, I genuinely believed that I could conquer my inner demons myself. However, one can always do with some external help, guidance, and support on this challenging journey. Here are some of the key lessons that I’ve learned along the way—lessons that I hope find resonance, offer relevant food for thought, or spark someone into action down this positive and proactive path.
Finding the right therapist/counselor fit might take time: Once you’ve decided to tread this route and help yourself, stay committed to the cause. This might mean employing the services of multiple therapists before finding someone that suits your needs. Factor in the level of comfort, candor, the ability of the professional to listen, comprehend, and offer helpful insights, coping mechanisms, legitimate tips and tricks, etc. Ensure it’s not a uni-dimensional interaction where all you do is share/unburden or merely listen to theoretical concepts. If the professional seems to be going through the motions with limited in-moment investment and personal attention, it may not be the right fit. Though this process might be time-consuming, it is well worth the investment.
Being brutally honest is key to helping the right therapist help you: You have to be candid and comfortable sharing things that bother you. This encompasses everything from your childhood, adolescence, personal and professional relationships, vices, fears, insecurities, and any relevant information that can help your therapist understand you, your persona, and your psyche better. Leaving key events, incidents, traumas, etc., out or merely sugar-coating issues may not be the best way forward. It doesn’t help the cause. Continue being candid and truthful about your feelings, emotions, behaviors, and coping mechanisms while in therapy.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions: The purpose of therapy is to help you work through your issues and find a sustainable path toward wellness. So, when a therapist recommends certain activities, thought experiments, visualization exercises, medication, etc., understand the underlying reasons for the same. Request supporting literature, ask for published research studies, and enquire for greater clarity. You don’t have to blindly trust any recommended course of remedy. You are well within your rights to ask questions politely and empower yourself with the foundational knowledge that will further the larger cause.
Mutually identify and prioritize goals to work upon: While some of us have singular issues to battle through, a lot of us might have multiple problems that coalesce and snowball into deeper anxiety and depression. Work on one goal at a time while in therapy. Tackling multiple problems simultaneously could be a recipe for greater disaster. By prioritizing goals, there’s clarity in thought, action, and recommended remedial work. You might even surprise yourself by witnessing some of your other issues reduce in magnitude or subside by focusing on one major goal at a time.
Track your progress and make notes: There will be sessions following which you will feel more lost or less put-together. There will also be sessions after which you feel like you’re finally on the right track. Be sure to take notes post every session to log whatever you’re feeling post the same. These could be comments, advice, remedial actions, etc., suggested and made by your therapist. Chronicling most things during therapy can work wonders. It can help you see patterns and the evolution of your thoughts, actions, emotions, and behaviors.
Stay true to the process while giving it time: Therapy can last for a few weeks, or months, or even remain ongoing for years, depending on each person’s mental health challenges and their magnitude. There is no one-size-fits-all. The purpose of therapy is to offer more than comfort or succor. It is also supposed to help you become more self-functional, self-reliant, self-aware, and self-sustaining. Test the waters from time to time to see if you can reduce the frequency of your sessions with your therapist. Staying true to the process while giving it adequate time is essential.
Personally, my ongoing experience in therapy has helped put my fears into perspective, develop a thicker skin against sporadic ridicule, and reduce my anxiety via healthier coping mechanisms. I’m also learning how to separate rational threats from irrational beliefs that have become hard-coded into my thinking. These minor wins along the way are helping me reclaim an increasing semblance of normalcy in my daily life while living a far less anxious and fear-steeped existence.
Therapy is not a silver bullet; it’s a function of self-care, self-love, and a strong survivalist mentality. One has to persevere down this path, only if convinced that it will benefit them. But if one does put in the work, trusts the process, invests in growing more self-aware, and prevents oneself from falling into convoluted rabbit holes and detrimental spirals of yore, it is well worth the time, effort, energy, and monetary investment. It can be a tremendous path to personal survival and growth.
