This is a story sequence of what happened to me two years ago when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, on September 30, 2013. We had an appointment in the regional cancer center Trivandrum and after waiting for 6 long hours, my dad’s turn finally came. After going through the reports, the Doctor suggested a Hemiglossectomy(removing half of the tongue), as the biopsy had confirmed cancer in the tongue and the next available surgery date was only after 2 months.But we couldn’t take the chance by waiting so long, as the cancer lesions in his tongue were growing day by day and it was causing a difficulty in breathing. The surgical procedure was done in Bangalore after undergoing all investigations, and took 8 hours to complete. Doctors had told us before the surgery, that once the portion of the tongue was removed, a tube would be placed in the my dad’s stomach for feeding. He would not be able to swallow or have the food which he used to have normally and speech articulation would also be affected, as the graft (portion of muscle was placed in the tongue taken from the thigh muscle) reconstruction didn’t have swallowing capacity. All the food would be needed to be crushed in the mixer grinder and fed through the tube. Dad was mentally strong enough to handle these issues as he used to do all the things by himself
After undergoing the radiotherapy for 2 months in Kerala, Dad was getting backto normal life. After two months’ dad started complaining of severe back pain, which we didn’t take seriously at first. because we thought the bone must have becom weakened. It was during my final year of BDS theory exams that Dad began showing severe symptoms of back pain and was taken to a hospital nearby, by my brother. They advised him to take a painkiller of high dose while they conducted many investigations, but as it was a private hospital, dad didn’t find their suggestions relevant and came home. After my theory exams, dad was still complaining of the back pain and I took him to the hospital where he was receiving radiotherapy and they advised him to go for a PET scan to know if the tumor was recurring. The test confirmed that the tumor had recurred and spread to the lungs and spinal cord. This was the most sorrowful time in my life because while I had the remaining practical exams to complete, my sister was also having her MDS final year exam, and my other family members werenot be able to bear this situation. Even my dad didn’t know that there were was not many options left for treatment. I didn’t disclose the PET scan report to any of my family members till 2 weeks after the end of the practical exams, and I told my sister afterher exams got finally over., After that every other member in the family came to know that there were very few days left in my dad’s life. Dad was taken for chemotherapeutic treatment but because of his low body weight and weak condition it was not helpful.
As the days went by, he started losing his memory because of low sodium. During the advanced stages he was taken to the hospital, but even injecting morphine did not relieve his pain, and even the doctor told me that there is not much to be done, and no need for a hospital stay, so I couldtake my father back home. I kept all these words in my mind for 3-4 days. One fine morning when I called my dad he was not waking up; his body was frozen like ice. I called a doctor to my home and he confirmed my dad’s death. My dad’s death made me depressed for almost 1 month and I was not speaking to anybody. During the depressed state, I was developing a feeling of ill-being and hate to myself because I had not been speaking to my dad for 3 years because I joined BDS at his decision. As the course started becoming tougher the separation also increased. I was hating myself and feeling grief simultaneously for doing such a cruelty to my father.
During this time my results came I got the happy news that I passed in the exams, which gave me some relief. I understood that if I stayed alone it wouldnot be good for me and I started going to the college and mingling with my friends. At that time we had an Onam celebration(Festival of Kerala) in our college. As all the programs for the celebration were conducted by the house surgeons in the college,our Principal gave an option to do something different this time, by holding the celebration in a charitable center. I gave a suggestion to my faculty and batch mates that there was a Palliative care unit some 15 km’s away from my college. We went there and enquired about the details and expenses, and the principal gave us permission to hold the event there. The function was to spend some time and have a afternoon meal(which we call Onam sadhya) with the patients and care-givers in the palliative care unit. Every patient in the palliative care unit had a painful story about the reason theyhad to come to the palliative care.By hearing their experiences, I personally felt that everything I had undergone previously was nothing .
The message I want to give to the others is that during the time of depression do the things you like, as you must help yourself to overcome the situation by mingling and sharing your feelings with your dear ones. In my case before going to the palliative care unit I was feeling very down, and expectations from life were lost . After spending some time with the patients and caregivers, I developed a positive feeling by hearing how some patients, after going through so many difficult times in their lives, had not lost their hope. They wanted to come up and live their lives again, which induced some changes in me.You must not bow down to any challenge put in front of you.
